How It Happened: Batman: Aftermath

If I recall right, this story goes back to summer 2013.
There was lots of craziness at the time so it’s hard to remember.
I think this is also probably the first thing I ever wrote digitally…
Yes kids, I still write with Pencil, Paper, and an Eraser!
*pauses for sharp intakes of shocked breath to cease*
Foley style, yo!

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So we were riding down the highway (not going to a show, sadly) and I see this huge railway bridge over the road and I get this image in my head that looks like it was shot from a helicopter of smoke and fire, twisted wreckage, destroyed cars, shattered glass, and the railway bridge collapsed in the middle of it all on top of yet more mangled cars, trucks, vans, SUV’s and assorted bits of transport.

And I see the start of what would eventually turn into my opening crawl.
Because as you all well know, at that point (Summer 2013) I wasn’t making videos on my laptop yet, I was still recording shitty audio on my phone.
So this was probably just going to be a story that I wrote for myself that would be born in the notepad on my phone then live and die in a dusty old notebook like alot of stories I’d written.

Anyway, I get this opening that starts forming, and from notepad to notebook, it barely changed at all.
Sadly, I deleted the notepad entry so I can’t post the 2 for you to compare, but trust me the opening is basically the same.
The only thing that did change were the numbers.
I think at the start the numbers of “200+ cars” and “Death Toll 569” were probably close to half of what they became, but I remember feeling like if the conversation that followed was going to have any real weight I had to cause even more destruction than what my mental image showed.

Brace yourself, cause it’s gonna get morbid.
To show you how much thought I put into this: I figured each of the 200 cars had 2-5 people in them.
The cars under and closest to the train, on both sides of the highway, were crushed, killing the occupants instantly.
A train landing on 4 lane highway, each way, could probably catch 8-10 cars as it hit the ground, so you have 20-40 in those cars.
Factor in a 65 Mile Per Hour speed limit and the next 20-30 cars, each way, slamming into the 8-10 + the train and you have close to 80 cars full of dead folks which equals about 200-230 dead based on my math above.
Then I figure there’s probably 200 folks on the train, added the 230 and the 200 then sprinkled 130 more on top to give me the beefy 569.
Plus the 120+ vehicles that saw the train fall then slam into the cars ahead but couldn’t hit the brakes fast or hard enough gives you the 200+ for the pile up.
That’s alot of thought of destruction for a story that at the time I thought would probably never see the light of day.
Probably all those hours of playing with Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars as a kid.

So, moving on, I get the idea to basically have Batman driving The Joker to Arkham after Mr. J caused all of this mayhem and questioning him to figure out why the fuck he would do all of this damage to all of these people.
There must have been some reason beyond “well, ya see Batsy, I thought it’d be fun ta let loose a bit!”.
To have Joker just sorta talk in circles, bring up a valid point or 2, but in the end, the truth is…there is no possible logic, reason, excuse, or meaning for what he does beyond the plain and simple fact that The Clown Prince Of Crime is completely, utterly, and 100% fuckin’ crazy!
The dude is cuckoo for cocoa puffs and has impulses to do dangerous, insane, harmful shit because he’s probably bored.
Sherlock Holmes got bored so he did coke.
The Joker gets bored so he goes on a psycho killing spree in an inventive way, probably a side-effect of the chemicals that turned him into the chalky skinned emerald haired monster he is today.

I get the video recorded and edited together (I have a funny story about that after the video link below) and start working on the opening and closing credits.
As was, and still is, my usual, I was scrolling through my Font and Title Animation options when I stumbled across this one that beautifully encapsulates the Batman: The Animated Series feel that I go for (after all that is to this day my absolute favorite version of Batman and the Batman Universe, clearly since my Joker is basically a Hamill impression).
On my laptop, it’s called AR BONNIE.
It’s not exactly the same font that B:TAS used, but it’s in the style so I ran with it.
Then I was searching the animations and found this one called “Scroll, Perspective” that is pretty much a passable facsimile of the Star Wars opening crawl.
Again, since my Joker is just an imitation of the legend that is Mr. Mark Hamill (without being nearly as great as his is) I figured “what the hell, I’ll throw this in and see if anybody puts 2 and 2 together. It’s not like I’ll ever tell a Star Wars story”.
As I recall, nobody really picked up on it.
But, thanks to @_13Chris, I was 100% wrong about ever making a Star Wars video.

More after you watch the video, but now, for your listening pleasure, I present Batman: Aftermath…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YogImJEanig&feature=youtube_gdata_player

That final tag of “Ah, I’m just bustin your Bat Balls” got a strange reaction from somebody (sorry, I can’t remember who) when I posted this.
They felt that by adding that I pretty much cheapened what the thought was a good, interesting, deep look into Batman and Joker’s relationship/rivalry, but I maintain that it actually strengthens the story.
In a way, the whole thing is just Joker saying shit to screw with Batman.
The end has them come to this point where Batman thinks he’s gotten an insight into Joker, he feels, while it’s nuts, Joker thinks he’s a hero.
It’s like the bit in Mad Love, Joker twists Harleen Quinzel around his finger by telling her the circus story.
But it’s complete bullshit, he tells her whatever he can to warp he into Harley Quinn.
Batman isn’t as easily manipulated as that.

I’m not afraid to say this is one of the videos I’m most proud of, I think I really knocked Joker out of the park on this one.
I’m not sure if I’ve reached the same level as Mr. J since this attempt, not for lack of trying.

Now, 2 last things to wrap this all up in a purty little bow, 1 of, which is going to be my closer, is the only regret I have about this video.

1st, the funny story promised above.
If you skip to the 1 minute 33 second mark, you will find an unexpected cameo that is probably one of the funniest, most well timed things ever in any one of my videos…that happened completely unintentionally.
If you put some headphones on and listen really closely, just before Batman says “Those animals, they are why I’m here!” You will hear one of my dogs bark.
I almost edited it out, but the placement in the recording was too damn perfect and I love it.
Makes me giggle like an idiot everytime I hear it.

2nd, my regret.
While you can probably make the arguement that the Batmobile is sound proof, I really regret not asking Mike, AKA @FromTheMonkey, to give me the sound of a jet engine to lay under this and add a little bit of depth.
I think that would make this thing sing in a way it doesn’t.

Here’s something fun to do at home though, if you have the Danny Elfman Batman 89 theme, role this and play that softly in the background.
It totally fuckin’ works, man.

Welp, that’s all I’ve got for ya this go round kids.
Come back next time to read How It Happened…the It being yet another of my wacky little videos.

Huge thanks to @TESDGroupie for the screencap of my Title Card.
Groupie, you my dear Rock as hard as the Rockstar that is J Sarge!
Thank for the help, yet again.

Share this post on twitter with the Hashtag #BatmanAftermath.

Now finally, and sometimes most importantly, the world is a hard place full of people who suck.
Try to do whatever you can to combat that by not being a dick.

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Podcast Intros, Outros, And Bumps

Today an Episode of @ThisIsA_Podcast (Episode #17) went up with an Outro I did in my Joker voice.
You can listen to it by clicking this link https://t.co/e01EinNF3S!
Outta the blue Thomas asked me to do a little Joker something for the show, and since I love the voice I of course said yeah!
Listen to all of their Eps at http://soundcloud.com/ThisIsAPodcast.

In honor of that, I figured I’d do something I mentioned doing way back when I launched this site and (finally!) get you folks up to date on all the shit I’ve done for various podcasts.

This is the pod that has probably used my work the most, @ThatManOnFatman.
Starting off with Episode #27, I redid their disclaimer as good old Mr. J and they still use it today.
I actually did a little extra tag to it that you can hear in it’s first use, which you can listen too here: http://www.thatmanonfatman.com/the-podcast/thatman-on-fatman—episode-24.html
Listen to the rest of the eps at http://thatmanonfatman.com

Then there is the dude that I did voice work for first, @FromTheMonkey, on his original podcast which is no longer available From The Monkey Basement.
BUT, he has a new podcast called Just Give Me A Few Minutes which I did an intro for that he used on Episode #9: #1 Boss: http://t.co/ytbSzDzFSa and you can also hear it on Episode #10, where Mr. Mike talks about Episode I of The Challenge Of Darth Doom (BTW, I’ll be talking about this ep when I do the How It Happened for the Darth Doom vids) http://t.co/ytbSzDzFSa.
You can listen to his pod at http://JustGiveMeAFewMinutes.Podomatic.com

Then there’s what’s probably the fuckin’ weirdest (in a good way) intro that I’ve done.
The podcast Matt And Corey Talk Too Much asked me to do little somethin’ somethin’ for their 2014 Christmas Ep, it’s Episode #55: Christmas #2 which you can hear right here: http://t.co/cTmUO5QH75
This here is a good trio of folks and you can listen to the show at http://Spreaker.com/user/MattAndCorey

Then there’s the one you’ve all heard about a shit load of times here on the site, @Fitzman73‘s podcast what he does with his sister @Tacky1z Just Jump To The End (AKA @JJ2End)
So far, I’ve done 3 intros and a bumper for these guys, making them the podcast I’ve worked with the most and done the most variety of work for…with much more too come!

Episode 11 features my very first Joker “appearance” on their show: http://justjumptotheend.libsyn.com/episode-11-do-you-have-a-poop-closet

Then on Episode 13 these 2 Hillbillies I created make their first appearance: http://justjumptotheend.libsyn.com/episode-13-fergusons-of-anarchy

This here is the Joker snoozing bumper, that I actually did for @FromTheMonkey‘s first podcast: http://justjumptotheend.libsyn.com/episode-14-old-mcdouchebag-had-a-farm

And then, because Fitz demanded it, in Episode 15, the Hillbillies returned: http://justjumptotheend.libsyn.com/episode-15-booger-in-d-minor

Go listen to all these podcasts and let them know I sent ya.

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If you wanna support TS-D/JA Productions beyond just watching and reading, you can go here and buy yourself a nice Logo Shirt, Hat, or Glass: http://www.cafepress.com/justjumptotheend/12361893

And as always: The world sucks enough and has enough folks acting like assholes, go out and try to combat that by doing the exact opposite.

Typecast 12: Fitz And The Funny Books

Hey everybody, remember that time @Fitzman73 and I read those Star Wars comics (which you can read here: https://tsdjaproductions.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/typecast-5-four-color-fitz/)?
Well guess what!
We done gone and did it again!
This go round we read issues 7-10 and had a little chat about ’em…and when I say a little bit I mean buckle the fuck up cause we’re long winded motherfuckers!

This conversation appears just as it was had, flaws, fuck-ups, and…something else that starts with F and means flawed.
Fitzman’s name is his twitter handle, appears in red, and links to his podcast Just Jump To The End that he does with his sister, @Tacky1z.

And so we begin…

ThatScoobyDoom: Before we get into these 4 issues, lets talk a bit about your history with ’em.
If I remember right, didn’t you say last time that the arc after this was when you started getting your monthlies?
If that’s right, when did you first read these?

@Fitzman73: Yeah, I think so.
I know I said that but I might actually be misremembering that.
I checked my stash and I only have a couple of these in single issue, it’s the next arc with the water planet and the red haired space pirate dude that I started collecting on the reg.
And by “reg”, I still mean whenever I was at a store and saw an issue.
These were still the days of shit shows up on the spinner when it shows up.
There wasn’t a new comic book day for me so even though I was actively looking for the next issue if it didn’t show up on the rack at Kroger that month or my mom didn’t have 35 cents (can you believe that cover price? Wow) I missed that issue.

I think actually the first time I read this arc, which I’m going to call the “Seven Samurai” arc (or the “Magnificent Seven arc” if you’re some kind of uncultured slob), was probably when I bought this omnibus a few years ago.
I’m sure I read a couple issues of it as a kid because I have distince memories of one of the most infamous characters in it (which we will no doubt cover at length later) but I don’t think I read the whole arc until recently.

ThatScoobyDoom: Hey man, I may have grown up 20 years after you but I know that fuckin’ struggle!
When I first started getting comics I was only getting the original Scooby comic that DC published.
I knew nothing of comic shops, the first 20-30 issues I was able to get were bought at QuikTrip when I could find them.
I learned fast that it dropped the first week of the month and I had to get it then or I missed that issue.
I know the struggle all to well.

If comics were still 35¢ I’d still be buying them!

Just to keep it Star Wars, lets call it the Bounty Hunters arc (The Clone Wars, Season 2 Disc 4 fuckos), and I am an uncultured slob thank you very much!

Really?
For some reason that is strange to me, I figured you’d have been all over this long before 2010 (when this Omnibus was published).

@Fitzman73: The Marvel version of Star Wars really lost its shine for me after the OT was complete.
As you’ll see if we ever make it that far things start unravelling after Jedi from what I recall.
Not that this series really ever captured Star Wars, it just lost me at some point and I kinda put it down and wasn’t all that interested in revisiting them until I got really nostalgic a few years ago.
Now of course I can read these and appreciate the janky 70s artwork and corny ass dialog (very similar to my appreciation of Batman 66) and just allow it to be fluff and not get all fanboy ragey about how “this ain’t Star Wars!”

Although, I actually started the first issue of this arc last night fresh off the heels of watching the Rebels season 1 finale, and that might’ve been a bad idea.
To go from Star Wars perfection in Rebels to, wow how do I say this nicely, terribly written 70s Star Wars fanfic, it’s rough.
The dialog so far is beyond the pale. Lol.

ThatScoobyDoom: See, you can say that now, or even 16 years ago, because you have a set of rules for Star Wars, but in January of 78?
Star Wars was just 1 movie, that’s it.
But now?
Star Wars is far more.
Sure, it lost you.
And sure, it’s not really great, but at the time I’m sure you guys were just nuttin’ in your britches just cause you saw more Luke, Han, and Leia.
By 84, there was a bit of defintion too, so these kinda lost their luster, but even then it was hard to nail down what was Star Wars.
I can’t comment on 66, I think I pissed folks off enough with Typecast #7. Lol

I didn’t read it yet, I wanted to talk about it just a little bit first, but I have no doubt this non-movie issues are gonna be rrrrrrough!
Rough!
Rrrough!

Don’t bring up Rebels, man!
I wanna stick to these comics and I don’t wanna get distracted by that sweet sweet goodness. Lol

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So, as always, lets start with the cover, I see 3 things that are either strange or just fuckin’ horrible.
I’ll get to those, but what do you think of it?

@Fitzman73: Only 3?

Like I said I picked this up right after watching some of the best Star Wars possibly since the OT, so I found myself being really hard on this issue.

Right off the bat, to me Han Solo looks like Moe Howard.
And I can’t figure out why a wanted poster for Chewbacca needs to say “Chewbacca The Wookiee”.
His fucking picture is on it!
Does he need that speciest title?
I mean it doesn’t say “Han Solo The Caucasian Human”.
The alien Han is grappling with looks like Merman fucked the Demon Etrigan.
Such an un-Star Warsy design.

ThatScoobyDoom: I didn’t watch Rebels and I think I’m gonna shred this issue too.

Yeah, 3…and you nailed one of them.
That Koala Fish Mutant Bird Creature guy that Chewie has by the collor couldn’t be more un-Star Wars.
I was thinking of “Gone Gone the form of man” as well and that little barnacle faced fucker from JJ’s first Trek movie.

I just noticed Han looking like a whoop whoop whoopin’ idiot.
I noticed the Chewie thing on the poster too, but let that slide cause that’s what everybody calls him.

My other 2 things were:
1. Han’s word balloon.
“Grab a laser•gun”
A laser•gun…a fuckin’ laser•gun???
When in that movie did they call a goddamn blaster a “laser•gun”?

2. Chewie himself looks like a furry turd supermodel vampire.

Woofah, are we in for a not fun time or what?

@Fitzman73: Laser-gun is one of the LEAST ridiculous things that come out of his mouth.
Buckle up because this is going to get ugly….

ThatScoobyDoom: When you say ugly I’m not sure what you’re talking about…art?
Story?
Dialogue?
All 3?

Lets start with the art, it appears that even after 6 issues Howard Chaykin still has no clue what the fuck Chewie is supposed to look like!
Look at panel 3 on page 119, it looks like Chewie is trying to tranny trick Han or something!
And from there it, somehow, though as inconceivable as it may seem, it just gets worse for poor Chewie.

@Fitzman73: It’s so funny that you say tranny trick because I have that in my notes for later in the issue!

Yeah he can’t draw Chewie and apparently doesn’t have a grip on the Falcon either.
At this point there should be more than enough reference material for both.

Actually I have more of a problem with the dialog.
The way they use contemporary real world slang is fucking maddening.

It started out pretty good though, I liked the fact that they begin right where the movie left off with Han leaving Yavin to pay Jabba and the Rebels in serious need of scouting for a new base.
That’s something you don’t think about after episode 4.
They would’ve had to get the hell off Yavin before the rest of the Empire showed up.
So it’s cool that one of the subplots is going to be them looking for a new place to hide.

Then they ruin it immediately by having Han literally use the phrase “space spurs”.
Space spurs?
What the fuck?
If you notice, Han talks like John Wayne or somebody during this whole issue.
Fail.

ThatScoobyDoom: Hahaha, I can see why you would!
I didn’t even make notes on this issue cause I was just so stunned by how bad it was.

Motherfuck reference material, all he needs is 1 fucking photo of Chewie, doesn’t even need to have Mayhew in the goddamn costume, he has no defense.
The Falcon is a bit harder to capture, that’s hard to capture all of that detail…that said, you are correct.

It did start of great, I didn’t read that Dark Horse Star Wars book that that Wood dude did or the new Marvel Star Wars book, but it seems like this might well be the closest we’ve actually gotten to the end of A New Hope.
It was really cool to see…but it didn’t last long!
That red bearded douche in the black Daisy Duke’s kind of killed the high of that for me.

This goes too two of your points, the dialogue and the “space spurs”.
I swear to Bob that they think that this stupid bullshit sounds cool, AND ADDING SPACE TO A FUCKING WORD DOESN’T MAKE IT COOL AND STAR WARSY GODDAMN IT!!!
I swear to god I was expecting him to call somebody pilgrim!

@Fitzman73: And it’s especially egregious because Roy Thomas is not a bad writer in general.
He’s done a lot of shit by but wow he does NOT get Star Wars at all.

Did you catch where they have Han say he’s going back to Dantooine to pay Jabba?
I might let that mistake slide except for in the very next panel they refer to it as Tatooine?
What the fuck man.
This was the 70s baby, ain’t nobody got time for quality control.

Ah yes.
Enter the Space Pirates.
So basically for anyone who hasn’t read this issue, the Falcon gets intercepted by a giant Star Destroyer-like cruiser full of, yep, pirates, led by a burly red haired guy in hot pants named Crimson Jack.
Who proceed to board the ship and steal all of Han’s reward money.
Which is a handy way to explain (if this were canon) why he never got that money to Jabba.

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And these aren’t cool space pirates like Hondo and his gang of Weequays on the Clone Wars.
These are literally pirates in space.
Pirate head scarves, striped shirts, for Christ’s sake one of them has an actual cutlass.
The only thing missing is a parrot.

But then there’s Jollie, the lady pirate.
Who by the way reminds me an awful lot of the female member of the Oktober Guard in the old Marvel G.I. Joe comic.
She’s such an angry young lady.
Spoilers, this is not the last time we’ll see Crimson Jack and his crew.

ThatScoobyDoom: Completely true.

I saw that and was going to mention it, there is shit in these that’s just so easily fixable it’s clear that whoever the fuck made this deal for Marvel was just laughing their ass off all the way to the bank.
It just smacks of laziness and little effort.

Yeah sorry, I forgot to do a breakdown, much like my lack of notes, I’m just fuckin’ gobsmacked by how legitimately shitty this is.
I swear dude, I was excited to read through these issues before but after just this one issue I gotta say…I’ve got a bad feeling about this…I get the feeling these next 60 issues and 2 annuals are going to be painful.

I love how they feel the goddamn need to say “there is even the white, stoic armor of a fallen stormtrooper, strangely out of place.” mixed in with this shithead and his merry band of morons.
And look at the panel after the stormtrooper, Han looks like a chick from the 60’s with that stupid ass hair style.

That chick is blood thirsty, she’s in like 6 panels and she wants to or threatens to kill Han and Chewie 3 times.
That’s nuts!
I’ve never been a big G.I. Joe fan but I can see why you’d say that.

Have you noticed all of the panels that are incredibly offensive to asians?
That first shot with Jolli has Crimson Jack looking like Charlie from Mr. Magoo.
After that panel I heard that voice because of it.
That last panel is bad for the same reason.

@Fitzman73: Yeah I didn’t notice the Mr Magoo thing, but the guys in the last panel are pretty blatant and borderline offensive.
It’s even weirder because I’m pretty sure they’re not even in the next issue.

The “bantha” looks terrible.
They must think bantha is just a generic term for any pack animal because the one in this issue looks like a hippo with curly horns.

And Han Solo actually says “Sunday School”.
Another example of them having no idea how to write within the context of this universe.
It’s really jarring and makes it hard to stay in the story, what little there is.

What did you think of the “High Galactic” language they invented for this issue?

ThatScoobyDoom: I’ve only flipped through it, but I don’t think they are either.
Weird indeed.

That Bantha looks like that a less hairy Nerf without the top horns or, based on the feet, a furry Reek without the nose horn, or maybe a combo of both.

I found Han’s knowledge of any religion to be kind of weird given his reaction to the “religion” of the Force.
The way he was all “fuck that force nonsense” to Luke and Obi-Wan but here he’s all respectful is really two-faced.
And I’m honestly surprised he didn’t call it space sunday school.

It sure as shit ain’t no Mando, that’s for sure.
But I would be interested in learning more of it, though given how this issue is going I doubt they put much or any effort into making an actual language.

Again, for those not reading along, Han and Chewie have decided to land on another shithole planet to lay low for a while and make some credits when they run into a group of locals trying to beat some smarts into a Holy man for trying to taint (teehee) their local graveyard with a cyborg body.
What do you think of all that, basically turning Han and Chewie into local problem solvers?

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@Fitzman73: I didn’t have a problem with that really.
Aside from being all reverent of this guy because he’s wearing priestly robes, and talking about attending space Sunday school, which is WAY out of character, I felt like the whole “oh you’re going to pay me? Sure I’ll haul this guy to the spacer graveyard and kill anyone that gets in my way, no problem” to be perfectly in line with his mercenary ways.

Plus, they have to have them doing something, I guess this is as good as anything.
As you’ll see as the series goes on they very rarely (if memory serves) interact with the Empire.
At least not for a long time.
Their antagonists a mainly cheezy villains of the week made up for the comics.
I’m sure that had a lot to do with restrictions placed on them by Lucasfilm.

I did like the introduction of cyborgs to the SW universe in this issue though.
This is the first time we see something that ends up being a big part of the Star Wars saga in later films.
I also thought it was funny they call them “Borgs”, all I could think of was Star Trek.

Oh and before I forget, page 128 top panel, I think Dr. Zoidberg is in the crowd shot.

ThatScoobyDoom: But before payment is even discussed?
He was ready to jump in and help, didn’t Han say he only looks out for himself or do you think he made an exception for the holy man (insert Eddie Murphy joke here)?

True, but I think the story could have been structured in a way that made it seem like there was money to be made before Han just jumps to his defense.
I’m sure Lucasfilm told them to steer clear of using the empire too much but to go nuts since it’s not going to be official anyway.

I kept thinking of Patrick Stewart myself.

As long ago as this is?
It’s more likely to be Uncle Harold Zoid…yeah!!!
I have a long futurama dick too, son!
Lol, good eye.

@Fitzman73: You have a point, the jumping in to defend someone just to be a swell guy isn’t really his nature at this point, but he did just save Luke’s bacon and by extension the entire rebellion so it might be (and I in NO WAY think Roy Thomas gave it this much thought or any for that matter) the start of the new Han, the Han who would stay with the rebels at the expense of a price on his head or the Han who would volunteer to blow up a shield generator.
Maybe this is him easing into his new role of “hero”.

Or maybe it’s just lazy paint by numbers writing?
Sorry, it’s hard to not be an apologist.

ThatScoobyDoom: Well, one could argue that he saved Luke to make sure he earned his reward.
That cracker barrel cheese ain’t cheap after all, but that is a good point.
Could be the first step of his transformation.

So after Han, Chewie, and the Space Bible Thumper bury the collective Han and Chewie head to the local watering hole for cause they want too.
Han buys a round for the house, spots a blue lady who quickly disappears.
What do you make of that seeming waste of panels?

@Fitzman73: First off what the hell is up with lady’s fashion in this place?
Wow.
It’s like the 60s had diarrhea all over them.

The only explanation I have for this pointless epilogue is that it brings in those weird Asian peasant looking dudes that offer Han and Chewie a job with possibly the worst sales pitch ever.

That chick he was about to score with was where I thought he was going to get tranny tricked.
That subtext is all OVER their conversation.
And then she just disappeared when the farmers show up?
Huh?
Part of me thinks the implication was that she magically turned into those 3 guys, like they were disguised or something.

ThatScoobyDoom: At least The Jetsons had an excuse, right?

I knew that’s where the tranny trick was going.
I never thought of that, but it’s not like they give you a clue either.
There’s nothing to hint at that, not the same colored clothes, hair styles, even a little logo to tip ya off.
I like that theory though cause it gives it some point!
A real non-sequitur.
My biggest question would be, didn’t he have his hand around her waist?
Did he not feel her disappear?

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It’s all just strange.
Without reading the other 3 issues of this arc, it feels like they may have planned a 5 or 6 issue arc then the editor came in and told them it could only run for 4.
There’s just so much that feels like it was supposed to breath but they were forced to expedite it for some reason.

@Fitzman73: You pretty much nailed it.
I think this was intended to just get Han and Chewie off Yavin and split the heroes up so that the next few issues could happen.
Once we get into those you’ll definitely look back on this one and be even more puzzled as to what the point was because from what I remember it has absolutely no bearing on what happens next.

ThatScoobyDoom: Well, what’s the verdict on this issue?
I think it would be far better if it was a bit smoother and wasn’t so many events jammed into so little space.
Too much shit going on, the pace is too breakneck.

@Fitzman73: They say you can’t polish a turd.
However.
I think you might if it’s been left in the sun for 30 years and allowed to dry out and harden.

That’s what this issue is.
A 30 year old sun baked pile of dog shit.

But it’s not without its charm.
It’s a classic example of really bad 70s comic book garbage of which there was plenty.
It’s not at all Star Wars as we know it, but it’s a fascinating little snapshot of what people (especially middle age white dudes) *thought* Star Wars was supposed to be the time.
It’s the first “original” comic story in the SW universe, and it’s obvious from page 2 that George Lucas was the only one on the planet at the time that knew how to tell a Star Wars story.

ThatScoobyDoom: I not even sure what to say about that dried dog turd comment…my dog’s shit disintegrates so at least this has staying power of a sort. Lol

That’s the thing, with a little understanding of the verse, this could be a great issue.
It has all of the elements to be a great story…but it squanders them on dumb pointless bullshit that is more confusing than anything.

Issue 8 cover, thoughts?

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@Fitzman73: Issue 8’s cover.
You know, despite Chewbacca’s typically fucked up appearance and Han looking more like Reed Richards than Harrison Ford, it’s not that bad.

It’s got a classic Marvel look to it with all the main players from the issue in kind of a battle pose.
Switch out the characters and this could be an Avengers cover.
And hey, holy shit, the cover is an actual representation of what’s going to happen in the issue.

ThatScoobyDoom: Apologies if I’ve made this joke already, but is talking about how goofy Chewbacca looks like putting your hand on a midgets head, watching him swing wildly, and kicking him in the nuts?
It feels like picking on the slow kid at this point, at least in the cases that Chaykin does the art, which I’m just guessing he did this cover.

Yeah, and that makes me like it more.
Ooo, does it finally advertise this actual issue?
I may cream my fuckin’ wheat!

@Fitzman73: It’s weird too because he looks all fucked up on the cover, but in the issue itself he looks awesome.
He actually, FINALLY, looks like Chewbacca to me.
At least in the panels that I read last night.

I think the addition of an “embellisher” to the team on this issue really makes a difference in the art quality.
I think normally that’s just another term for “inker” but there’s such a drastic shift in style of the drawings I can’t imagine he didn’t rework some of Chaykin’s rough art before inking it.
It just does not look in any way like Howard Chaykin drew these pages alone.

ThatScoobyDoom: I’m trying to think of what he looks like on this cover but it’s hard, those blue and black eyes are fucked.
It looks like Chewie’s cousin…that wears the same bandolero or whatever the hell it’s called.

So, kinda like when the second artist or whatever was brought into the 1st 6 issues?

@Fitzman73: Yeah.
Like it doesn’t look anything like the previous issue.
It’s bizarre.

ThatScoobyDoom: Yeah, I just read it.
Not only was the art better, the story is 1000X better too.
And those old offensive Asian dudes are now carbon copies of Tatooine farmers.

@Fitzman73: I was going to bring that up immediately.
The lack of continuity between the last issue and this one is incredible.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.

Not only is the blue girl gone and never to be seen again, the 3 Asian dudes are now 1 single Luke Skywalker clone.

You know why the story is 1000x bettrr in this issue?
Becasue they recycled the same story that’s been told a thousand times before and just plugged in Han Solo and a bunch of random weirdos.

That’s my main problem with this arc, and it’s totally my own bias, but I’m immediately turned off any time I read or watch something that is just a repackaging of Seven Samurai.
They did the same thing in an episode of Clone Wars, but a lot subtler.
I actually really enjoyed that episode because it wasn’t such a heavy handed, literal retelling of the same story.
But this?
This is a classic case of “I’m already out of ideas”.

ThatScoobyDoom: But they did mention the blue girl.
The craggy faced dude that attacked Han right after the Asian, turned Luke, dudes (who after the first 3 pages, the other 2 disappear) turned up on page one says that Blue is his girl.
After that (at least for issue 2) is never mentioned.

It is a classic story, but if it’s done decently it can work.
I’ve never read or watched or whatever any interpretation of the original story, just the retellings with characters it like.
Mostly cause I’m the uncultured slob you mentioned earlier.

As you’ll recall, I mentioned that Clone Wars ep earlier.
That was a great episode for a multitude of reasons, one of which because it was the return of Hondo.

What do you think of this Napoleonic jackass villian…whose name mesa can’t remember at the moment?

@Fitzman73: When I saw the picture of that dude, The Arrogant One, I was like holy shit.
But the second thought I has was, have you ever read the Brian Daley Han Solo trilogy from the 70s?
There’s a recurring villain that’s constantly trying to have a duel with Han, he’s a “gunslinger” named Gallandro.
This guy is what imagine Gallandro looked like.
But then eventually he speaks and it’s like oh he’s just a straight Eli Wallach/Magnificent Seven ripoff.

I highly encourage everyone to check out some Kurosawa films.
Especially for Star Wars fans, The Hidden Fortress.

Anyway, back to this issue.
One somewhat inspired piece of creativity is they give us our first look at speeder bikes/swoops in the Star Wars universe here.
(Note: I’m not counting the Ep4 Special Edition that includes a swoop nearly crashing into a Ronto in Mos Eisley, that was added 20 years after this comic book was published)

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I enjoyed the bar fight.
I liked how Han kept waiting for his muscle (Chewie) to save him except Chewie was off getting his jimmy waxed by the two bar flies from the last issue.
He does eventually show up and beats the shit out of that green wart faced dude.

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ThatScoobyDoom: You’ve told me about those books before, I have them but I haven’t read them yet because I’m reading in order (as best as I can given lack of funds to fill in a few PT/OR gaps).
I’m on Medstar II right now so those are about 10 books away.
I’ll get to them in 2016 or 2017.

This dude just looks too goofy and flashy/colorful for this era of Star Wars.
Given his look, I think he’d fit in the PT as a Senator.

I’ve just never heard anything about that type of stuff that peaked my interest, everybody just says it’s good.

I hadn’t noticed that, interesting.
Good eye!

That whole page with Chewie finally showing up is great!
Panel 5 is a perfect image of him, the best we’ve seen up to this point!
The very next panel made me legit lol, Chewie throwing herpies face out the window.
Genius!

Then we get the poor farmer saying he needs protection from Solo, because our “big bad” Serji-X Arrogantus aka The Arrogant One.
Which leads us too our hero auditions, or Galactic Idol.
What did you think of the hero try-outs?

@Fitzman73: You mean besides the obvious question of why the hell does Han do the interviews shirtless?
Or the fact that everyone that applies gets hired?
Even the hackiest of hack characters Don-Wan Kihotay the delusional “Jedi”?
It’s not bad enough they had to ape Seven Samurai they had to throw Man of Lamancha in there too.

ThatScoobyDoom: I was gonna get to the shirtlessness…which is…beyond strange…but I was just wondering if you liked it.
Be fair, Han says they saw 10 Spacers already they were all inept.

Jesus, you are a cultured motherfucker.
I mean, I’ve heard of this shit but I couldn’t have nailed down where it’s from. Settle down Mr. College!
What do you think of this so called Jedi?
I know nothing of him beyond this intro but something makes me doubt he’s a real Jedi.

What do you think of this cavalcade of wacky bastards, including a ratfaced teddy bear/porcupine, the cat-eyed lady from Han’s past, yet another Luke clown and his wisecracking droid…and I leaving anybody else out?
No, that must be them all…oh, wasn’t there a pissed off bunny wabbit or something?

@Fitzman73: Yeah I loved it, shirtless Han was hot.
Beefcake.

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I can’t remember for sure but I don’t think that guy is a real Jedi.
I think he’s just nuts.
I never connected the two but in the old West End Star Wars role playing game they had a character class that you could be called “Quixotic Jedi”.
Basically a guy that’s just a little force sensitive and goes around pretending he’s a Jedi.
I’ll bet this comic book was the inspiration for that.
Hard for me to believe this comic book at that game that I played extensively were only 10 years apart.

They really went all out on that whacky characters.
Jaxxon the space bunny is by far the most remembered and talked about thing to come from this comic series.
He’s not that out of place really except he talks like 1920s gangster.
And much to my disappointment they predictably mention Space Carrots.

Fun fact, the skeleton of one of these space rabbits makes a cameo in the background of a Clone Wars episode.
Chronologically it couldn’t be Jaxxon himself but it was definitely one of these rabbits.

ThatScoobyDoom: Talk about awkward though, do they think that Han doing shirtless interviews is…intimidating?
Cause I couldn’t take the shirtless dude with the big furry seriously.

He sounds nuts, I wanna know how this dude got that Saber.
Doubtful it’ll ever get explained though.

Where do you fall on Jaxx?
You’ve said in the past he was one of the most controversial characters in Star Wars history.

Wait, so these bunnies are actually canon???

@Fitzman73: Apparently yes they are.

I’m ok with Jax.
He’s silly in the comics but judging by some of the character designs that would show up in the prequels was he really outlandish?
The big problem I have is how they constantly reference rabbits or things that rabbits do or whatever the fuck.
There’s no evidence that rabbits exist within the universe so he should only look like a rabbit to us, to the characters in universe he should just be another alien species.

ThatScoobyDoom: See, that’s a great point.
Given the prequels gave us some weird shit, why is he such a touchy issue?
I think the reason why has to be because he’s so real world.
Everything in the prequels is like real world but put through an alien filter.
Jax is just green Bugs Bunny in a space suit.
Jar Jar is very similar, in a way, but he’s a giant platypus/fish/lizard/frog, you can’t look at him and find one clear creature from our world to draw a direct line too.

But in all actuality he fits in the universe perfectly, specifically the OT.
The OT had many creatures from our world that were basically just anthropomorphized.
Examples being Bothans (which are descendants of felines), Chadra-Fans (which are rodent-like and look like bats), Hutts (slugs), Klatooinians (giant bulldogs), Nelvaans (giant wolves), Shistavanens (more giant wolves), and most famously Gamorreans & Ugnaughts (both pigs).

For the record, I think Jaxxon is fuckin’ awesome!

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@Fitzman73: I agree, he’s at least stylistically interesting unlike the other aliens they’ve put in these comics so far.

Did your ears perk up when that farm boy called himself The Starkiller Kid?

ThatScoobyDoom: Totally!
The other folks are either humans, deformed humans, or some attempt to be exotic.
My only critque would be to tone down the bright red jump suit.

They did!
They love that name in Star Wars.

Fun fact: When I played Star Wars: Battlefront II (which you’ll recall was my first real Star Wars experiance) my save data name/call sign was Killstar-1.

So next in the story, Han has assembled his motley crew, Jax the Rabbit has dispatched the pimple faced demon.
While talking to The StarKiller Kid, Han begins to wonder how Luke is doing.
Cut to Luke prepping to take off insearch of a new place to set up a Rebel base.

What do you think of that transition and development?

@Fitzman73: Oof.
That transition was ham fisted.
And weird too that they would cut away for like 8 panels and then go back to Han.

ThatScoobyDoom: My thoughts exactly.
I guess that they figured folks would be so worried about Luke they’d better at least check in on him to feed that interest.
I found it telling that the first arc was like “fuck the star, lets follow the cowboy…wait, space cowboy!”.

@Fitzman73: Yeah I guess they were like hey we just spent 6 issues focused on this kid, let’s do a pirate story!

ThatScoobyDoom: And I think it works, at least for this issue.

So after Luke recaps the movie, he hamfistedly sends us back to Han…eho is still shirtlessly interviewing!
The next day Han and the group of goofnuts head out for band practice and ol herpy face shows up with arrogant prick to dick wave at Han and Co.

What do you think of that?
Comes off a bit too mustache twirly for me.

@Fitzman73: Well he does have the mustache for it.

I actually did like that the guy that tipped him off to Han’s team of expendables was the warty face dude they’ve had beef with all issue.
That was at least some kind of payoff

ThatScoobyDoom: I know he does, that’s what makes it worse.

Me too, makes sense and makes the shit with him earlier mean something.
Doesn’t feel like a waste of pages/panels like alot of Issue 7 did.

Ready to head into Issue 9?

@Fitzman73: And leave this masterpiece behind?
Um.
Yes please.
It can only get better, right?
Right?

ThatScoobyDoom: Hey, after 7, 8 was a masterwork!
Art was way better, story was better in every way, pacing, humor, pay-offs.
…but I fear it shall go down hill…

@Fitzman73: Well, let’s get to it.

Cover?

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ThatScoobyDoom: A bit misleading, sorta like the last was, looks like the battle is in space.
Jax looks fucked up for damn sure.
Han’s left blast is just aimlessly firing.

Decent enough, what do you think?

@Fitzman73: It’s ok.
Again it’s a very 70s Marvel cover.
It’s fascinating to me how you can just look at Marvel comics (and maybe comics in general) and just know what decade they were produced in inspecting nothing more than the way the shot is composed and the color palette.

I was going to point out the star field background.
If they’d gone with a normal sky it would’ve been a pretty accurate advertisement for what’s inside, kinda.
But again they have to remind people that this shit is happening IN SPACE!!!

The text above the logo says “At Last! Beyond the Movie! Beyond the Galaxy!” What the fuck does that even mean?
Beyond the galaxy?
Beyond OUR galaxy?
Well no shit it’s a galaxy far far away just like the movie.
Or do they mean beyond the galaxy in the movie even?
And if so, who are they shitting?
They didn’t go through a wormhole in issue 7.

ThatScoobyDoom: I think it goes back to the conversation we had during the first arc, the trippy goofballs conversation.
Shit was bolder back then, gutsy, ballsy.
They took chances and did weird shit that eventually became the style for the decades they were done in.
Maybe it’s just me, but everything for the last 15 years or so has been pretty cookie cutter with no real groundbreaking chances taken.

Except for the speeder riders being different than the ones in the iss, it would be.
Yeah, they really wanna drive that home…sorry, space home.

Ya know, I didn’t even pay attention to that on the last 2.
That is a bit of a head scratcher.
If I can borrow your apologist role for a moment, maybe it means “beyond the galaxy…you know!”?
Makes sense…but not clear.

BTW, just a quick reminder, this is set in space…don’t want anybody to forget that little known fact.
Star Wars is set in space.
All clear?
Okay…they’ll remind us again in a few pages though just in case we forget.

@Fitzman73: On the cover Han tells Chewie to keep shooting, yet he’s not even in the frame is he?

ThatScoobyDoom: I think that weird looking being with the Creature From The Black Lagoon face on the far left might be Chewie.

What do you think of Jax’s Doom prediction?
Seems a bit grim for the long ear.

@Fitzman73: Yeah I thought that too but he’s really spikey so I thought maybe it was the porcupine dude.

Grim yes.
But this is an adventure beyond the galaxy bro, shit is going to get real.

ThatScoobyDoom: I did too, but given the color I argued with myself that it must be chewie.
Another fault in coloring with these.

Lol!

So whatcha think of the insidy parts?

@Fitzman73: The art looks more like the Chaykin art we’ve seen.
Like last issue was an anomoly or something.
Did you think that too?

ThatScoobyDoom: Yes!
I think with this issue, more than any other, you can tell who did what.
That opening page (153) is clearly not Chaykin.
Chewie looks perfect, almost the print version of rotoscoped.
The Banthas are totally different…they’re actually Banthas now!

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Page 154 is great too…then it goes downhill fast.
Han takes a turn and starts looking…tranny-esque is they only way to describe it.
Look at the bottom of 159, he looks like a middle-age lady in a wig.

There are spots of good that can only be attributed to Palmer, I’ll mention more of it later when we get into the story.

@Fitzman73: Good point.
I forgot they have him listed as co penciller now, so you’re right I’ll bet just like the prior issue, he went in and made things look like they should.
That’s gotta be why.
Because yeah the banthas look like banthas.

I didn’t check but I’m wondering if the inker changed?
Like was it the same guy doing the last issue because prior to that I thought the lines were really thick, and with this issue we’re back to heavy ink.

ThatScoobyDoom: It’s really strange too.
Back in the day when you had to wait 30 days to read the next issue it was probably hardly noticeable, but now it sticks out like a dogs red thing.

Issue 7 was Embellished by Frank Springer and Colored by Carl Gafford.
Issue 8 was Embellished and Colored by Palmer.
Issue 9 was Co-Illustrated and Colored by Palmer.
What’s the difference between Inker, Colorist, and Embellisher?

@Fitzman73: Well, inker and embellisher are kinda the same thing.
Colorist adds the color, obviously.
My guess is that on issue 8, Palmer actually did some of the illustrating too but didn’t get a credit until issue 9.
I’ll bet on issue 9 they both inked thier own work which is why there’s no credit for inker.

ThatScoobyDoom: And that probably explains why the differences are so big from page too page.
Not sure how many pix I’ll be able to post with this but it has really no sense of continuity, you can tell 2 people did it with contrasting styles.

Incase I didn’t mention it, that opening page is awesome!

Lets get into the story, what do you think of the start as our great protectors head to the farm to prep for battle?

@Fitzman73: This felt a lot like filler to me.
But those scavenger “birds” they had to fight were straight up nightmarish.
They had human faces!
This also gave Han a chance to save a girl who turns out as luck would have it is the daughter of a big shot in the village they’re going to protect.
Brownie points.

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ThatScoobyDoom: Yep, totally agree.
For me, last issue was pretty great but this shit got boring again real quick.
This arc is really losing my interest, and it even has green Bugs Bunny going for it.

Like a slightly mutated version of The Vulture, seems Marvel was stealing from themselves there.

How it she so young, bright eyed, & nubile yet her Dad is so old, crusty, & frail?
Wouldn’t he be wisping (I can’t really say shooting, can I?) dust at that point?
Dude looks older that Yoda’s frail wrankled ass!

Whatchu think of the Luke/Leia interlude this go round?

@Fitzman73: Yeah what’s up with those villagers in general?
They went from Kung Fu Theater extras to Tatooine farmers to now some kind of South American indian tribe or something.
They’ve literally been drawn 3 completely different ways so far.

I guess life is tough for these guys maybe he’s only 45. Lol.
I did find it amusing that Han was gonna try and break off a piece of that until he found out who her dad was and it turned into an awkward “well nice meeting you young lady”.

I thought the Luke/Leia interlude worked a lot better this time.
The only thing I had a slight issue with was the fact that Luke is flying the blockade runner by himself?
That’s not a single person vehicle.
It’s an odd choice to send him in, but I guess they didn’t have anything else?
And I guess spaceships are like cars?
As long as you know how to operate one you know how to operate any?

ThatScoobyDoom: Exactly!
Again, there is no sense of continuity what so ever in the art here!
If you have bad comprehension you’d totally be screwed because shit changes not only by the book but by the page!
It’s nuts!

If he’s 45 I’ll eat my toe jam!
That dude is eleventy at the least.
He did everything but palm her face and push her away. Lol

Definetly not as kitschy this time, but the writing/omniscient narration felt a little haughty to me.
“For us, however, the exigencies of time and space do not exist. Thus, let us skip lightly across the void of space…”
Dude thinks he’s Shakespeare or something.
That was something I wanted to ask, that’s the same type of ship that Bail has in III and Leia has at the start of IV, right?
That would take more that a fresh faced farm boy, an Astromech, and a Protocol droid to fly, no?

@Fitzman73: I would think so.
I mean I don’t think we ever see the cockpit of that ship (and it is the same ship in 3 and 4) but I would think there’d at least be 2 pilots and a navigator?
I don’t know.
Plus don’t they need any kind of crew or military personnel on board or anything?

That narration is classic 70s Marvel.
They did that kind of story recap in all those old book and it drives me nuts.
And that overly literary writing style is a staple of the times too.

ThatScoobyDoom: Well, I think for this they didn’t wanna risk the people, they just want to find a new base.
But this isn’t even a skeleton crew, even the damn Ebon Hawk needed a few crew members to make it fly.
What happens if the engine or hyperdrive fails?
Is Luke, all in his own little onesy, able to handle that?
He never showed the mechanical expertise that Anakin had, I’d say no.
This isn’t one that I feel they can hide behind the excuse of “undefined Star Wars”.

I can understand why, it’s sort of acceptable in prose, but once you introduce a visual it gets pretty lameass pretty quick.

@Fitzman73: Yeah all that prose really wasted and does feel forced and lame.
A little is fine but don’t try to sound like Dickens or some epic literary masterpiece it just doesn’t fit.

And as we’ll see in the coming issues he is on his own with just the droids for backup and he’s really going to wish he had a squad of commandos with him.

I like that we get to see Leia’s inner conflict of being expected to be a leader and not a fighter wanting to be out there as one of the boys kicking ass and after his transmission is cut off saying fuck it I’m going to find him.

ThatScoobyDoom: Exactly.
Save that shit for the recaps at the start, not for the body of the issue.

Does shit get that bad for Sky Guy Jr?

And didn’t that one dude basically tell her “don’t worry about it, not your concern.” just before she left?

@Fitzman73: Well, they don’t get Death Star escape bad but they’re not great.

Yeah they try to keep her all safe and ladylike and she’s like fuck that, later pussies.

ThatScoobyDoom: But all things considered, 1 against 100 type shit?

At this point we’re lead to believe it’s because she loves Luke, based solely on the movie issues.
Do you find it weird, knowing what we know now, that she doesn’t seem to give 2 shits about Han?
In those first 6 they really made it seem like a love triangle but there’s none of that here.

@Fitzman73: They really did go for the Luke/Leia romance and left Han to twist.
The same thing happens in Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, along with a bunch of other sacrilegious way off base action.
They had no idea where the story would be going, and everyone just assumed it was Luke/Leia.
It’s definitely creepy when you read this stuff after all the facts have been presented.

ThatScoobyDoom: Yeah, it is.
But I can put that aside and understand it.
Considering the time, the stranger thing to me is to just drop Han as an interest for her and have her just go full steam ahead for Luke.

Think about it, who’s really in more danger?
The unknown farm boy in the Rebel vehicle or the smuggler who has a debt with a ruthless gangster?
Sure, the farm boy is under threat from the galaxy but he could play dumb and claim he stole the Rebel ship.
Han is on his own (with Chewie) against a dude with connections to fuck his shit up.

@Fitzman73: Yeah but Leia doesn’t know at this point that Han’s in trouble.
Last she saw he was flying off with a cargo hold full of “treasure” as Roy Thomas insisted on calling it and was presumably a quick hop away from clearing things up with Jabba.

Luke on the other hand, she knows he’s in trouble and not only that the future survival of the Rebel Alliance hangs in the balance.
If he fails at his mission or is killed who knows if they have enough time to send out another scouting party and get off Yavin before Vader comes back and goes all Hoth on them.

ThatScoobyDoom: Fair points both.

So after Leia heads out to help that son of the maker, all hell breaks loose as The Arrogant One shows up to screw with the farmers.
Threatening to take the hotzi totzi farmers daughter, Merri, which Han takes umbridge too as he wants her for himself.
As the baddies ride in, Jax makes more bunny mentions.

What do you think of all that?

@Fitzman73: It was actually a surprisingly fun battle.
I wasn’t expecting them to take losses so soon though.
I forgot Don Wan takes a dirt nap already.
So much for those Jedi skills.

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ThatScoobyDoom: And fast paced.
I guess that answers my question about that, huh.
Were you disappointed to see the robut go?

Then old guy shows his O-Face and he unleashes his Behemoth in a large splash page

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@Fitzman73: I was actually.
That was pretty ham fisted too, “I don’t know why but I have to a blaster bolt for that kid that treats me like property”.

Yes!
What did you think of that twist at the end?
I think that’s the first time we get a surprise ending along with the “to be continued”.
I liked it, I thought that part worked really well.

ThatScoobyDoom: I like that little bot almost as much as I like Jax.
I like the near sentient Droids in Star Wars so much more for some reason, maybe because it’s not how it’s supposed to be.

When Jax says the old guy needs to get out of the way or he’ll get killed and they cut to gramps in a trance I thought it would be lame as shit.
Then you see that critter burst forth from the ground.
It was perfect!
For the first time in this damn arc I really wanted to see what happened next.

Strange because I started out hating this issue.

@Fitzman73: Right me too, as soon as he started talking about their protector though I remembered what was going to happen and that the 7 Samurai story line was about to be nuked.

ThatScoobyDoom: Does that improve the arc for you?

It’s definetly one hell of a cliffhanger.
That critter looks cool here, but it looks even better in the renderings in the next issue.

@Fitzman73: Yeah definitely.
For me it totally saves this story and sends it in a different direction.

ThatScoobyDoom: Anything more to say about this issue before we start to bring this thang in for a proper landing?

@Fitzman73: Not really, I’m curious to see how this turns out.
I read this maybe 2 years ago but I have no clue what’s going to happen.

ThatScoobyDoom: Welcome to my world, sir.

Issue 10 cover, go!

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@Fitzman73: Cover.
Issue 10.
STOP!
Just.
STOP.

This may be one of the worst covers I’ve ever seen.

Han looks like Willem Dafoe on crank, Chewie’s bowcaster arms are bent, the monster looks like they traced a photo of an iguana, and they’re, AGAIN, in the vaccuum of space with apparently no atmosphere?

In a comic series whose covers have been infamously bad so far this one plumbs new depths.
It’s a huge step backward.

ThatScoobyDoom: I wouldn’t be that hard on it.

If not for the battle taking place in the stars…again (*facepalm*) …it wouldn’t be to bad of a representation of what’s inside…even though everybody and everything is WAY off model.

And on the literal space battles front, in future issues that actually happens!
Ooofah!

I’d say it looks more like a green turd with claws and a head fin.

I didn’t notice the “bowcaster” til you mentioned it, I think it’s unfair to even call it a bowcaster.
Looks like a blaster with 2 static electric balls on it.

Also, how many goddamn times is Han gonna say “keep firing”?
Talk about one note…

@Fitzman73: Like no shit dude was he NOT firing still?
Why does he need to keep ordering people to keep firing?
If they stop it means their ass for sure so why does he have to micro manage like that?

So, big spoilers, huge surprise on the second page.
Have you seen it yet?

ThatScoobyDoom: Fuckin’ A!
I can imagine a Robot Chicken-esque sketch about that scenario.
“Han: KEEP FIRING OR WE’RE ALL IN TROUBLE!
*shoulders sag in defeat*
Chewie: Do you ever stop and think about how hurtful that is? Assuming I’m too dumb to return fire. It’s just…I don’t think you respect me anymore, Han.” Hehehe

I didn’t read it yet…but I peeked.
Art first, Fitz!
Gotta tease these kids.

@Fitzman73: The interior art is pretty much the same as it’s been.
You’ve still got the dueling pencillers going on with Chaykin and Palmer so some pages are better than others.
I did like the design of the monster.
He looks way better than on the cover for sure.

ThatScoobyDoom: Yeah, like I said before, the creature looks like a fin headed turd on the cover but totally different on the inside.
Looks totally different from the final page of the last issue too.
Once again, not alot of consistancy from these yayhoos.

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This is Chaykin and Palmer’s swan song also, at least for the next 36 issues.
Palmer came back as Inker on 46, left, then came back as Co-Artist on 49 & 50, then back to Inker after that for a while, then he flip flopped back and forth.
As far as I can see, Chaykin didn’t come back and I can’t say I’ll miss him.

Now, there are some highlights in this issue.
The 2 monster splash pages immediately jump too mind for me.
Anything like that for you?

@Fitzman73: I was going to mention that, that the next issue not only starts a new arc but there’s wholesale player change in the creative department.
Carmine Infantino takes over pencils and Archie Goodwin takes over writing from Roy Thomas.
The art for sure gets a HUGE upgrade.
Infantino’s style is way cleaner and in my opinion aesthetically pleasing.

But that’s for another day, sadly. Ha ha.

Those splash pages are the highlight.
I really liked the one on the first page that’s a wide shot of the whole area with the monster in the center.
There’s a lot of dimensions in it, you’ve got good guys in the foreground, the monster farther off in the background, and the raiders’ rocket cycles circling in the midground.

The only other panel that stuck out for me was the shot of Leia’s starship flying through space.
I really like the look of this image.
The ship design is very similar to a ship that shows up in the original Battlestar Galactica.

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ThatScoobyDoom: Real quick I just wanna say that I love the way he draws Leia.

Totally, to see such depth is a great change of pace.
Rather refreshing given the wonky quality we’ve gotten used to.

That shit is interesting, if you flip the book it kinda looks like a body to me.
Leia looks really pretty in those panels too.

Story, you dig it?

@Fitzman73: Story was ok, I thought the final solution to defeat the monster was kinda hokey, but the pulled a nice surprise by magically bringing back a character we thought had become one with the Force last issue so that made the fight more interesting.

You want to do the big reveal?
What did you think of his return and do you buy the reasoning behind his survival?

ThatScoobyDoom: It was strange to say the least.
This issue took it from a Western to a Godzilla movie and the end flipped it into an episode of the original Power Rangers.
Again strange.
Felt like the just ran out of pages and said “to hell with it, the monster is dead now” and printed it.

Brave Sir Cadagon returned, or rather, Don-Wan Kihotay rose from his overacted grave.
I went to back look at his “death” in the previous issue and noticed him holding a lance in the first panel like he was prepped for a joust.
Oy vey!

Do I buy his survival or reasoning?
HEEEEELLLLLLLL NO!
I’m with what you said about him being a real Jedi, he’s a big fat phony!
That was a death scream!

And as far as big reveal, to me it almost felt like they were saying to the readers “of course he’s not dead you retards” because look at how he’s revealed to be alive.
On page 172 of your omnibus, last panel, he’s standing there behind Han’s old girlfriend, lady hot shorts.
Then his first conversation in this issue is basically
(note dear readers this isn’t quoted)
DWQ: This armor saved me from the blast but I doubt it’ll save me from the beast.
Han: shut up and hide.
No “HOLY SPACE SHIT, DON WAN!!! YOU’RE ALIVE!!!” Just “then hide behind the rocks”.
It felt like a Duh moment.
I would have prefered he stayed dead and Han grabbed his saber.

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What do you think of the beast shooting fricken laser beams from it’s horny head?

@Fitzman73: Exactly.
I questioned my own sanity when I saw him in that panel.
For a split second I thought wait did we totally misread that last issue?
I actually went back and checked.
If stormtrooper armor doesn’t stop a direct blaster hit, no way does his plate mail, sorry SPACE plate mail.
I was actually hoping they’d just let it ride and not even bother explaining.
It would’ve been more forgivable in my opinion.

The laser was the next thing I was going to bring up.
I didn’t have a problem with it except it felt like a last minute addition because it’s just THERE.
No explanation, no structure or orrafice to come out of, it just comes out if its skin?

ThatScoobyDoom: Well, spinning out of that and trying to make it make sense (and no need to point it out, I know this is reaching), Stormtrooper armor is mass produced.
His space armor is special made for a *eye roll* Jedi, maybe it’s stronger because of that?
But I agree, had he just said it was just a flesh wound and they moved on it would have been much more palatable.

I think it shoots out of one of it’s horns, doesn’t it?
But even if it doesn’t, why the fuck is it there?
It feels like it’s just there to make it seem like as big a threat as the Death Star, which I don’t think was needed.
Increasing the threat just for the sake of increasing the threat makes it all weaker IMO.

@Fitzman73: Right it was already stomping the fuck out of everything and everybody, spoiler alert: squashed both The Arrogant One AND the crazy old shaman with one stomp.
I have to hand it to them.
That was a helluva way to resolve those plot points with single panel.

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I don’t know, it didn’t look like it was coming from anything to me but you’re right who cares it was dumb either way.
Didn’t make the connection with the Death Star, but you’re right it’s exactly like that.

As lame as that laser was, the method by which Han finally kills thing is almost as ridiculous.

ThatScoobyDoom: How many times have I (or we) said that it feels rushed?
Instead of figuring something out or saving them for potential future stories we get “um…um…um, fuck it squish ’em, we need to wrap this shit up! We go to print tomorrow!”

It’s like “here’s the threat…now Here’s The Threat…NOW HERE’S THE THREAT” they keep pushing it, ramping up the stakes and it gets laughable.
Just gets ridiculously absurd.

You mean Han’s trench run?
Go on, tell ’em how fuckin’ dumb it is.
Go on!

@Fitzman73: How many times?
I don’t know, how many issues have we done?

You mean the trench run where he uses Chewie as his x-wing?
Holy hell.
So basically he remembers hear about a jedi that once killed a monster like this using a lightsaber to short out the beast’s laser.
Problem is he’s not fast enough to get close to it before it fries him with said laser but guess who is?
Homeboy literal has Chewie pick him up under one arm and run him like a football up close to the monster so he can stab it and make it go kablooey.

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Oh and you’re right, he calls it the monster’s “fin beam” so I guess it’s supposed to just be coming off the thing’s head fin, which is not drawn clearly at all.

ThatScoobyDoom: Lol, 10?
4?
You decide!

Yeah, in some panels it looks like it’s shooting between the spikes from the skull.

That is incredibly stupid, but you know you’d have popped wood had they pulled a Colossus/Wolvie and done a Fastball Special instead!
Don Wan screams blasphamy as Solo snatches his lightsaber too!
And how the hell did Han hear about a Jedi killing a monster with a lightsaber, more importantly, why would he deny the power of the Jedi/The Force having heard such a tale?

So, he stabs the bastardized Barney, the monster goes apeshit crazy because of it, and the Dino disintergrates.

We have now way of knowing, but if I had money I’d bet that Palmer drew that first splash page of the Behemoth and Chaykin drew this zappy disintergration.

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@Fitzman73: That’s a pretty good bet.

Exactly.
He literally JUST SAID in theaters he didn’t believe in Jedi nonsense so why would he believe a tall tale like that?
I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.

And then after all is said and done the Starkiller Kid gets the hot piece of ace farmer’s daughter and decides he’ll just stay and be a farmer now too.
So with that the arc comes full circle because SPOILERS that’s what happens at the end of Seven Samurai too.

ThatScoobyDoom: Fuck a theater, what about 7 issues ago???
Now, issue 3 was WRITTEN by Roy Thomas and here he’s listed as Co-Plotter with Chaykin while Don Glut is “Scriptwriter”.
Is this a case of too many cooks in the kitchen maybe?

Once again, can you say rushed and ham fisted?
Starkiller Kid: I’m gonna leave cause you won’t look at me.
Hot lady: I’m looking now.
SKK: You’ll touch it? I’LL STAY!!!
All that in 3 panels, are you fuckin’ shittin’ me?
I mean, way to have conviction you little turd!
She finally bats a lash his way and the little pricks is her’s for life?
Zzzzzzzzzzzz

So overall, how do you feel about this issue?

@Fitzman73: Way too many cooks.
This is an example maybe of the Marvel Method gone awry.
That old way of making comics may have given birth to some of the greatest stuff ever, but in the wrong hands it lays out some real zeros too.

Might also still be an example of the creators no clue what to do with this new white hot property and absolutely no time to figure it out.
They wanted to cash in while the movie was still huge, not realizing hey it’s not going anywhere.
They had to get these issues to print as fast as possible so it’s no wonder these early issues are fucking unbearable.

ThatScoobyDoom: No shit!
But it’s a monthy book, not bi-weekly, they needed to slow the fuck down a bit and let this shit breath or it turns out like this, rushed and wonky as hell.

This 4 issue arc, how do you feel about it as a whole?
Cause it’s been a rollercoaster for damn sure.

@Fitzman73: As a whole, the story is pretty formulaic and kind of boring, but it does take a couple of unexpected turns and there were definitely a few things I did like.
Mostly though it’s pretty cheezy.

ThatScoobyDoom: I would definetly have to agree, I think issue 2 was the peak for me and it kinda just slowly glided downhill in 3.
The pacing of 4 went off the deep end.

As you said before, you can really see how early in the saga this was and how little control George had, because it kinda goes off the rails of what is Star Wars fast out of the gate.

But I will say this, I love Jaxxon!
I’d love to see him on screen.

@Fitzman73: I think you could definitely do some cool shit with that character if you dirtied him up a little and made him just tad more alien and tad less exactly like green Bugs Bunny.
Oh, and totally drop all the references to bunnies, rabbits, carrots, hopping, etc.

ThatScoobyDoom: Yes!
Maybe even if you sort of reverse it a bit and make him look a little monsterous but make him a sweet heart.

Or just scar him up, make him a bit darker shade of green, lost the spacesuit, give him some armor.
He’s clearly tough, but he seems more like he’s overcompensating for his cute and fluffiness.

Back to the arc though, I think it’s be alot better to if they quit putting “Space” infront of everything that comes from reality to make it seem scifi.
It’s like Chinese food, we call it Chinese food but if you go to China it’s fuckin’ food!
If your in space this shit is normal, no need to qualify it.
It comes off extremely ridiculous.

@Fitzman73: It definitely does, we’ve said it before but man what a 60s/70s trope.

ThatScoobyDoom: I know we’ve said it before, but it needs to be repeated, FUCKIN’ STOP IT!!!

I guess we can Ol Yeller this one, unless you have anything else to say about this sad bastard.

@Fitzman73: Bang.

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If you want more of Fitz, you can follow him on twitter at http://Twitter.Com/Fitzman73
You’ve gotta go listen to his podcast Just Jump To The End (which you can also follow on twitter at http://Twitter.Com/JJ2End) that he does with his sister @Tacky1z, it’s available for download at http://jj2end.com.
I dig it so much I’ve done intros for them and have many more too come.
You can also listen to the Audio version of Typecast #9 from there.

Share this post on Twitter with the HashTag #Typecast.

And finally!
The world is a pretty shitty place, try to make it a little bit better by not being an dickhead and adding to the shit pile.
See ya next time.